Ok, just one more....

Just one more and I will lay off Mr. K for awhile. Discussion between me and Aidan this morning.
Aidan: Going to school is very important.

Me: You're right, it is.

Aidan: If I don't go to school, will I have to live on the street?

Me: What?!

Aidan: Well, people that don't go to school live on the street.

Me: Who told you that? (as if I didn't already know)

Aidan: Mr. K

The next few minutes were spent trying to explain that no, I don't think he will ever have to live on the street. I understand instilling a value in education but come on...

Oh, this one is a doozy...

Yes, another Mr. K story.

On the way home from school the other day, here is the conversation we had:

Aidan: Mommy, did you know that a lot of people in America don't have jobs?

Me: Yes, I do know that...

Aidan (cuts me off): And do you know why they don't have jobs?

Me (very curious to hear his answer): Why?

Aidan: Because the people in China make everything now and there is nothing for America to do.

Me: (Silence--wondering what I can possibly say.)

Aidan: And do you know they steal children to work in factories there?

Gavin (quiet up until now): Do they steal children here??

Oh. my. god. Now, I do realize this is coming from a 5 1/2 year old and the conversation Mr. K had with the kids may not have quite gone down like that. BUT, this is what a 5 1/2 year old took away from that conversation. Regardless of what was actually said, I do not think that kindergarteners need to know about the state of our economy and if their parent might lose a job because China makes everything. That's just me.

_________________________________

On a funnier note, my friend who has a child in Mr. K's class also told me that the other night her son saw a shooting star. She told him to make a wish because that wasa lucky star. He closed his eyes tight and wished:

"I wish someone would replace Mr. K."

LMBO

Proud moment

I believe I have mentioned before that Gavin if by far my most challenging child. But for all the grief he may give me at home, at least I now know that he truly does behave himself when he is away from me.

I have been helping out at the school book fair this week. Today was Gavin's day to go and as we were checking out, a parent came up to me and said "So, you are Gavin's mother". Uh-oh--this could be good or bad, I couldn't tell from her voice. So the woman introduced herself as Joseph's mother (I had no idea who Joseph was). She must have noticed my puzzled expression because then she said that Joseph was in the 4th grade and he was Gavin's library buddy. Each week the kindergarteners pair up with an older student who help them pick appropriate books and they have the same buddies all year. Well, the woman went on to tell me that Joseph talks about Gavin ALL the time and tells his mother what a polite little boy he is and how nice he is, etc. She then said "And really, I am not just telling you that because you are standing here. He honestly loves your son. You should feel very proud of him". Of course, I am always proud of my kids but I can't tell you how satisfying it is to hear others say it. Motherhood is most often an overlooked job. There are no performance reviews, no feedback (unless it's bad usually), no pats on the back. To hear someone compliment my child's manners and behavior is all the validation I need that I'm doing a good job. Not that I need validation but, you know, society has certain ideas about what life as a SAHM is like. It's not all bon-bons and daytime TV. It is damn hard work. And I think I'm pretty good at it.

Sad

Don't you hate when your kids are sad and there is nothing you can do about it?

I worked at the school book fair today and bought Aidan's teacher a few books off his wish list. I ran them down to his classroom and just as I was walking in the door, Mr. K was speaking to Aidan about something he was doing wrong on his paper (rather harshly I might add). I saw Aidan's face and knew he could burst into tears at any second. He was trying so hard to hold it together. He didn't see me come in the room and as I was leaving I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him and he just looked up at me with the saddest face. Didn't even smile at me. I wanted to give him a huge hug but I didn't.

Before I left the book fair, I went down to the lunchroom to see the boys. I found Aidan first and went over and asked how he was. I asked what he was so upset about in class and he just told me "Nothing". He just did not want to talk about it. Aidan can get overwhelmed when a task is hard for him. He would much rather just give up but that is not an option in Mr. K's class. He will make the student try and try and try until they get it. I suppose that is a great way to encourage children to take risks in their learning. But for goodness sake I think he can do it in a gentler way. He just has a harshness about him when speaking to the children.

Last night at dinner, I asked the kids to name one good thing and one bad thing that happened that day. Aidan's good thing was "I wanted to cry when we were doing math because it was too hard but I didn't". How is that for heartbreaking? Turns out they were working with coins and Mr. K had to have them figure out how much of something they could buy with the coins they had. Honestly (and I was a Kindergarten teacher), I think that is a challenging thing for kindergarteners. But Aidan got through it. And he didn't cry.

Whatta you wanna do with your life?

For some reason, whenever I contemplate my future, this line always pops into my head from the Twisted Sister video fromt he 80s. Remember the guy yelling in his son's face so intensely that he drools? And then he gets right into his face and screams "Whatta you wanna DO with your life....?"? And then the kid looks at him and says "I wanna rock." Cue Twisted Sister music.

Lately, I have been wondering what exactly I want to do with my life. I am a teacher by trade yet foolishly allowed my certification to run out because once I had the boys, I sort of just forgot about everything else. I fell into motherhood so easily that I couldn't imagine a day would come when I would want to do something else. For the record, I still can't imagine it but I am trying to plan for the future. My kids are still young and need me but time goes by so quickly and soon it will seem foolish for me to just stay home all day while they are at school. Truth be told, it doesn't sound too bad to me right now but I know I will look for something to stimulate my mind. So, I am looking into grad school.

I spend a lot of time at the boys' school helping out here and there. The first time I did it earlier in the year, it just felt so right and comfortable to be in a school setting again. So familiar. It started in my mind then that I would want to do something school-related. It made sense since I already had my teaching degree but I wasn't sure I wanted to be in a classroom again. Before the boys were born I had started a grad degree in Library and Media Technology to be certified to be an elementary librarian. I love books, I minored in Children's Lit as an undergrad and I was excited to head in this direction. Then the boys were born, my degree went on permanent hold and now I am kicking myself for not keeping up with it. However, one of the colleges here offers a completely-online Library degree and now that excitement is starting to brew again. I think it will take two years so my plan is to do that and use the library at the boys' school for all my fieldwork. In two years Ciara will also be at that school (sob!) so maybe I can volunteer a lot in the library after I get my degree, learn the ropes, get some experience and, more importantly in my case, some confidence and get a job a few years down the road.

Sounds like a good plan, right? But you know what they say about the best laid plans...

Moments like these make me almost forget all the bickering

Almost.

Just a conversation I want to remember

Tomorrow is Pajama Day at school. Everyone wears their pajamas and also gets to bring a stuffed animal to school. Well, for Gavin this is a major event because he has to bring just the right stufed animal. I kid you not, he has probably close to 100 stuffed animals mostly Beanie Babies. He has already changed his mind 5 times as to which one he is bringing. So, he makes his choice just before bed and then we are laying there talking before he falls asleep.

Gavin: Well, I am bringing Birdie tomorrow.

Me: Good choice.

Gavin: And when I have Pajama Day in 1st grade, I'll bring Elephant.

Me: OK

Gavin: And when I am in 2nd grade, I'll bring Plankton. When I'm in 3rd grade I'll bring Doggie. When I'm in 4th grade I'll bring Jellyfish and then when I am in 5th grade I'll bring Tyrone. I can't wait until I am in 5th grade!

Me: Well, don't be in a hurry to be in 5th grade.

Gavin: Why?

Me: Because then you'll be all grown. I want you to be my baby boy.

Gavin: (exasperated sigh) Mummy, I will always be your baby boy. Always.

A little more notice would be nice

The weekly school notice came home on Monday and I scanned it quickly as I usually do. Normally most of the information in it doesn't pertain to kindergarten so I don't pay much attention. But something at the very end of the notice, almost like an afterthought, caught my eye. Pajama Day, February 6th! Wear your pajamas to school! So I wander over to the calendar and see that February 6th is this Friday. As in 4 days from now. This means I need to go out and buy the boys' pajamas for Pajama Day because they wear the footed pajamas at home. They love them. But I can't very well send them to school in feeties. So I have been on the hunt for long-sleeve, long-pants pajamas. But, of course, this being the first week in February all that is available is tank-top-and-shorts pajamas. Really, the retail industry annoys me to no end. Who the hell are going to buy summer pajamas in February in New England?

I really would like to know.

A milestone of sorts

Yesterday, I dropped the boys off for a playdate at their friend's house. Alone.

And that is the milestone.

I wouldn't call myself overprotective per se. More non-trusting. I just don't trust anyone else with my kids' safety and well-being besides family. Any time Sean and I go out, it is always my mother or my sister or his mother who watches the kids. We are so lucky to have so much family around.

The boys had been to this friend's house once before but I had gone with them. To scope it out for future alone-playdates. I have been chit-chatting with the mom in the schoolyard since September and she seems really nice and together but you just never know. So I went to their first playdate with them. And it was fine. They have two HUGE Rottweilers which freaked me out at first but they were like big teddy bears. So the house got the green light for future independent playdates.

I dropped them off after school and Ciara was all excited because she thought she was going too. Poor kid. She screamed for about 45 minutes with that choppy, sobbing kind of voice. "But I...(sob sob)....want to go to....(sob sob)...Jackson's house!!" And getting out of the car, Gavin told me that he wanted Ciara to come, too. That was sweet and kind of uncharacteristic of him. I think he really likes when all three of them are together.

I picked them up about an hour and a half later and all was well. They had fun, they behaved (so the mom told me) and I am glad I let them go. It was a big milestone for me too.

Moving on...

I am still sad about Finn. I keep looking up to the second floor landing when I come home, expecting to see him there wagging his tail. But I am trying to think about good things so let's post a good thing...

I had Aidan's kindergarten conference last week. Regardless of what Mr. K had to tell me, I knew that I was so proud and happy of where Aidan is right now. He is so far beyond where I thought he would be. Not that I didn't have confidence in my son, but in September he was just not that into letters and numbers. He was all about playtime and I just thought he'd have a tough time getting used to the structure of school. Well, I am proud to say that he is READING!! Never in a million years did I think he would be reading in January. Of course, Mr. K said "What did you expect? He is in my class!". I swear he started off at least three sentences with "I don't want to brag but....". He opened Aidan's journal and pointed to his story. Aidan has begun writing the words himself instead of telling them to his teacher and having them written for him. Mr. K said "I bet your other son is not doing this". To which I replied "Actually, he is." Gavin always was slightly ahead of Aidan in the academic department. He was interested in letters and sounds and putting them together before Aidan was. If Gavin could have withstood Mr. K's intensity and stayed in his class, he would have excelled beyond where he is now. Gavin's teacher is great for him but I feel she doesn't push the kids and take them further. Gavin is writing/reading mostly in part because it interests him and he has taken it upon himself to do it.

So, I may have complained and grumbled about Mr. K's method of teaching. But Aidan is reading and for that I am grateful. I still don't think the ends justifies the means. He could definitely add some fun to his teaching style.

Tribute

To Finn.

The reason we could not leave food unattended.

The reason we had to store food in the microwave.

The reason we needed to put the trashcan up whenever we left the house.

The reason we kept a water bottle nearby for incessant barking when he spied a squirrel.

The reason for my tears.

Goodbye.

Yup, they're my kids all right

Aidan: Asks me at least three times a week if we can "order something and have it brought to our house".

Ciara: Every time I pick her up at preschool she asks me "Can we go out to lunch?"

Gavin: Well, he just loves to eat.

On this historic day...

I am not a political person at all. But today, even I can feel the excitement, hope and patriotism that every American is surely feeling.

And also, the pride.

Something I rarely do

I never wax poetic on how cute my kids are. It is not that I don't think they are cute, of course I do. But I am always reminded of a quote I once saw. Something like, "There is only one beautiful child in the world and every mother has it". So I hardly ever go on about my kids to other people because of course no other adult will think my kids are as cute as I do. But I had to make an exception for these pictures of Gavin. Not Aidan, mind you. These are really not flattering pictures of him. So just focus on Gavin in the red shirt.

Gavin usually does not take great pictures unless I get him in a completely candid moment. He usually does this goofy thing with his mouth where he has a forced, lopsided smile. Or he doesn't look at the camera. Or he closes his eyes on purpose. When I saw how these came out, I was taken aback by how absolutely adorable Gavin looked in them.

People always ask me how I tell them apart. Really?

This is my favorite. Look at that little face. I just want to squeeze him.

Incidentally, this is how it usually goes with picture taking at my house. Whenever one looks great, the other looks goofy. This time it was Aidan's turn.

I will now never be able to use the computer

Heaven help me. Ciara began using the computer full force this weekend. She has been messing around, trying to figure things out, watching her brothers play their games. Then on Saturday, something clicked (haha, "clicked" -- get it??) and she just was clickin' and draggin' all over the place. I set her up on PBS kids and away she went.
What amazes me with Ciara is how much more advanced she seems at this age(3.5) than Aidan and Gavin were. I know that is usually how it goes with younger siblings. They absorb all the things their older siblings do and say. The boys got an alphapbet Go Fish game for Christmas and we played game after game for the duration of winter break. Ciara, not one to be left out of the fun, insisted on playing even though I didn't think she knew her letters. Well, it turns out she did know a few letters but the amazing thing is that by the end of winter break, she knew all her letters. Just from that Go Fish game. Of course we played 175 games of Go Fish but still...I think that was pretty neat.
And now. Now she can use the computer. Gone are the days where I can come home from dropping the boys off at school, put on Backyardigans for Ciara, grab a cup of coffee and sit and check my blogs and emails. Right now she is behind me saying "Are you done, Mom?"....."NOW are you done?"........"Did you check your emails?"...."NOW???"......

Waiting

I like this picture. My boys and my nephew had been playing hard on Christmas Eve at my parents' house. The house was packed and warmer than usual with all the body heat so they all asked to take off their sweaters because they were "soooo sweaty!".

Then it was time for the present! opening! and while we tried to corral all the kids near the tree and open presents with some semblance of calmness and order (yeah, right), I snapped this picture of the three boys. I love the look of anticipation on their faces.

About three seconds after this picture was taken, the frenzy of bows, ribbon, and wrapping paper flying into the air began. So much for calmness and order.

The year of the cookbook

I am not one for making resolutions but this year I decided to try one. I am going to try to actually cook recipes from the multitude of cookbooks sitting in my cabinet shelves.

I love to cook and I am an avid cookbook collector. It all started years ago when Sean and I lived in Ireland. The Naked Chef (aka Jamie Oliver) had a cooking show on television there at the time and he was being touted as the freshest thing to come into the kitchen in recent years. The next time Sean and I went into Dublin, I bought his book at Waterstones and I was hooked. Each recipe had a full page color photo and also a paragraph or two about the dish. How it came to be, why he chose to make it this way,etc. I love history behind recipes.

So now, I have at least 30 cookbooks (not to mention cooking magazines and recipes I have printed off the internet) that I read like novels when I get them. Then I ooh and ahh over several recipes, make a mental note to come back to them and then put them on my bedside night table. There they sit until the stack gets too unbearable to look at and in the cabinet they go. My problem is that lately life has just been too hectic to sit and plan a menu, make a grocery list and then execute the dish on the designated night. I tend to buy the same pieces of meat and staples each week and just cook. No book, no recipe, just whatever I feel like making that night.

Well, all that's about to change! Not today. And maybe not tomorrow. But hopefully this weekend I can sit and look through some books and make a plan.

...Dr. Ciara...paging Dr. Ciara...